Black GQ Books: Our Kind of People - Lawrence Otis Graham

The book starts with a controversial epigraph, a distillation of the sentiments of the black elite regarding their own:

Bryant Gumbel is, but Bill Cosby isn’t. Lena Horne is, but Whitney Houston isn’t. Andrew Young is, but Jesse Jackson isn’t. And neither is Maya Angelou, Alice Walker, Clarence Thomas, or Quincy Jones. And, even though both of them try extremely hard, neither Diana Ross nor Robin Givens will ever be.

It was 10 years ago that Lawrence Otis Graham's "Our Kind of People" hit book stands.Our Kind of People presents a telling view of blacks in settings other than those featured on the evening news. Instead of the standard depictions and glamorized scenes, it peers into the privileged lives of over three hundred successful members of America's black upper class in cities such as Chicago, Los Angeles, Memphis, New York, Atlanta, and Washington, D.C. Graham not only salutes the many accomplishments of this class, but acknowledges their flaws as well. In the first chapter of the book he describes the "brown paper bag and ruler test" that determined who belonged in the black elite and who did not. Money alone did not guarantee one a spot in this exclusive club. Unfortunately, it is unclear from Graham's tone how he feels about this distinction, perhaps because, as he likes to remind the reader, he himself "passes."

Our Kind of People serves as a kind of Baedeker's guide to the lives and follies of the black elite, listing and describing the schools they attend (Howard, Morehouse, and Spelman, historically, the Ivy-league today), the places they vacation (Martha's Vineyard or Sag Harbour), and the organizations to which they belong (the Boule and/or the Guardsmen for men, the Links and Girlfriends for the women).

Our Kind of People is a lively, generally accurate, and informative account of the black elite. One only wishes Graham had delved a little more into the dissonance between the group's ideals and those of the larger African American community to which it belongs, a community which fought for so long against all forms of invidious exclusion.

What are your thoughts?

Black GQ Lifestyle: Esquire The Handbook of Style

Esquire The Handbook of Style

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Black GQ Books: Men to Boys by Gary Gross

Men to Boys:: The Making of Modern Immaturity discusses the "boy-man" phenomenon and why men refuse to grow up in this generation. Cross elaborates that the "boy-man" rejects maturity and makes a fetish of everything "cool".

Here is a brief background about the book from the publisher:

"Adam Sandler movies, HBO's Entourage, and such magazines as Maxim and FHM all trade in and appeal to one character—the modern boy-man. Addicted to video games, comic books, extreme sports, and dressing down, the boy-man would rather devote an afternoon to Grand Theft Auto than plan his next career move. He would rather prolong the hedonistic pleasures of youth than embrace the self-sacrificing demands of adulthood.

When did maturity become the ultimate taboo? Men have gone from idolizing Cary Grant to aping Hugh Grant, shunning marriage and responsibility well into their twenties and thirties. Gary Cross, renowned cultural historian, identifies the boy-man and his habits, examining the attitudes and practices of three generations to make sense of this gradual but profound shift in American masculinity. Cross matches the rise of the American boy-man to trends in twentieth-century advertising, popular culture, and consumerism, and he locates the roots of our present crisis in the vague call for a new model of leadership that, ultimately, failed to offer a better concept of maturity.

Cross does not blame the young or glorify the past. He finds that men of the "Greatest Generation" might have embraced their role as providers but were confused by the contradictions and expectations of modern fatherhood. Their uncertainty gave birth to the Beats and men who indulged in childhood hobbies and boyish sports. Rather than fashion a new manhood, baby-boomers held onto their youth and, when that was gone, embraced Viagra. Without mature role models to emulate or rebel against, Generation X turned to cynicism and sensual intensity, and the media fed on this longing, transforming a life stage into a highly desirable lifestyle. Arguing that contemporary American culture undermines both conservative ideals of male maturity and the liberal values of community and responsibility, Cross concludes with a proposal for a modern marriage of personal desire and ethical adulthood."

It seems like a good read that I may browse the next time I am in Borders. The main question I have is how many African Americans were sampled in the book and would that alter the book in any fashion.

Black GQ Reading: Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

A great book that can be purchased here on Amazon


The Four Agreements are very simple, but very profound. To embrace and live each of the Four Agreements is to find yourself experiencing personal freedom--possibly as never before. The Four Agreements are:

Be Impeccable With Your Words
Don't Take Anything Personally
Don't Make Assumptions
Always Do Your Best

From the cover of the book:

Be Impeccable With Your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

Don't Take Anything Personally: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

Don't Make Assumptions: Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

Always Do Your Best: Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.