Given all the hype and controversy around Chris Brown's alleged beating of Rihanna, I feel compelled to post this essay I originally wrote in late 2007, so that some of us can have an honest jump off point to discuss male violence against females, to discuss the need for ownership of past pains and traumas, to discuss the critical importance of therapy and healing. Let us pray for Rihanna, first and foremost, because no one deserves to be beaten, or beaten up. No one. And let us also pray that Chris Brown gets the help he needs by way of long-term counseling and alternative definitions of manhood rooted in nonviolence, real love, and, alas, real peace. And let us not forget that Rihanna and Chris Brown happen to be major pop stars, hence all the media coverage, blogs, etc. Violence against women and girls happens every single day on this planet without any notice from most of us. Until we begin to address that hard fact, until we all, males and females alike, make a commitment to ending the conditions that create that destructive behavior in the first place, it will not end any time soon. There will be more Rihannas and more Chris Browns.
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My mother was a victim spousal abuse. I grew up seeing my dad beat her blue, draw knives on her, kicks, slashes with belts...ive seen it all. He tried to hide my young siblings and I from it but hearing my moms screams and cries is something you never forget. But you are right no woman ever...let me repeat...EVER deserves to be beat; there is absolutely no excuse for it. My mother stayed with my father for 13yrs but finally left after seeing how it was affecting us; her children. I remember the day like it was yesterday,I was crying so hard because her last beating was kind of my fault; but long story short she looked at me and snapped...we moved from Texas to Oklahoma and didn’t look back. Im older now and have forgiven my Father. He found God and has changed his ways; till this day he regrets his actions and lives with the guilt that his actions caused him to loose his family. Let us pray for Chris Brown that he gets the help he needs he is so young and has his whole like ahead of him...and also continue to Pray for Rihanna that God gives her comfort and guidance.
God Bless
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